Learn Your Partner’s Love Language If You Want A Healthy R’ship
Is everything going south in your relationship or marriage? Maybe you haven’t put in mind their love languages.
Knowing your partner’s love language will help you discern how they show their love so you can feel more appreciated. Often times it’s not that our partner doesn’t love us, it’s that they love us only in the ways that they know how to love us.
Your love language is not only how you express love, it’s how you receive love as well. This means that you may express your love through one language but receive it through a totally different one.
- Words of affirmation
If your love language is words of affirmation, you place a high value on verbal expressions from your partner. This can include saying “I love you,” giving compliments, or acknowledging the things you do well.
Tell don’t show. People with this love language respond better to words than actions. They thrive on being told how their spouse feels rather than an action provided to them.
Communicate often. You may also want your partner to text you during the day or call you often when you have to be apart.
Keep it simple. If your partner wants words of affirmation, it’s often best to keep it simple and just say how you feel. Don’t worry about overdoing it. Don’t worry about repeating yourself.
- Acts of service
Think of acts of service as actions that can be physically done in order to make a significant other feel cared for. This can include doing the dishes, helping out around the house, or picking up the kids from school.
Show some chivalry. People who value acts of service may enjoy some things that are old-fashioned. Opening doors or offering to pay for a date with your partner can make them feel loved.
- Receiving gifts
People who value gifts value things that are tangible items. Imagine if it was their birthday once a month. What would they want?
Give small things often. Find things you can give frequently. Some people may prefer getting small gifts more often rather than a rare large gift.
Be thoughtful. People who value gifts also like the thoughtfulness behind a gift – give your partner an item that shows you understand them.
Make it pretty. Presentation means a lot, so you may also want to invest in gift wrap.
- Quality time
People who value quality time appreciate the time you spend together with undivided attention. That means putting down the phone for more than a couple of minutes, not having dinner with the television on, and really trying to embrace your one-on-one time.
You can express this through,
Saving time for discussion. Your partner may like doing activities with you and then talking about those experiences afterward. For instance, after the movie, talk about it. Talk about what each of you thought and felt.
Listen to what they have to say. Eye contact is key. Spending quality time often means being a good listener.
Give your partner your undivided attention. It’s important to separate your work life from your home life when you’re with your significant other. This can mean staying off your email and limiting how much you talk about work.
- Physical touch
If your love language is physical touch, you feel most loved when you’re in contact with your partner. People who enjoy physical touch thrive on the sensation of being held, hugged, and kissed. Something as simple as hand-holding can make them feel desired and loved.
You can express this through,
Giving lots of hugs. When your partner is upset, they are often reassured and comforted by touch. This means that just listening to your partner may not be enough, and it can help to add in some physical affection.
Focus on the sexual touch. It’s important that touch in your relationship isn’t only related to sex. They need affection, which is separate from sex.
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