What To Look For In A Partner

Choosing A Partner. Photo Courtesy
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What To Look For In A Partner

Many, when asked “what are you looking for in a relationship partner?” find the question easy to answer. I recall one lady being asked the question and answered “I just want a rich man, that’s all”. This left the audience in laughter wondering why she decided that she just wants a rich man.

That’s a story for another day!

No matter what we think we are looking for in a partner, the people we wind up choosing do not necessarily match our criteria for an ideal companion since we do not always want what we say we want.

The laws of attraction aren’t always fair.

When choosing a life partner, it’s important to break free from harmful tendencies from our past. Consider the people you’ve previously chosen to be with and think about why it didn’t work out. Were they too controlling? Passive? Jealous? Elusive? Did they make you feel the way you felt in your past? Did the situation mirror a dynamic from your childhood?

We all know you shouldn’t just throw yourself willy-nilly into the first relationship that comes down the pike. But what are the things you should look for in a relationship, specifically?

  1. Honesty

Honesty in a relationship is not just about telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, every time a thought enters your head. It’s about being truthful in a way that lands softly, so that your partner is able to hear, and understand, your view. Even when the truth is hard to take, it’s in your best interest to really know your partner.  Someone who hides aspects of themselves can leave you feeling insecure and mistrusting.

  1. Emotional Maturity

This is the ability to handle situations without unnecessarily escalating them. Instead of seeking to blame someone else for their problems or behavior, emotionally mature people seek to fix the problem or behavior. They accept accountability for their actions.

Choosing A Partner. Photo Courtesy

  1. Respectful and Sensitive

When you find someone who encourages you to be yourself, you can feel secure in your relationship, yet independent within yourself. It is easy to feel loved when someone encourages you to do what lights you up and makes you happy. This same person may be willing to challenge you when you’re engaging in self-destructive attitudes and behaviors. When someone appreciates you and takes an interest in the things you are passionate about, you can really share life with this person, while continuing to pursue your unique interests.

  1. Funny

A sense of humour is an attractive trait that shows being funny makes you adorable as a mate especially if you are a man. Someone who is happy to just hang out, have fun, and laugh with you is someone worth sticking with. Being easy-going and willing to laugh at yourself are highly beneficial characteristics to look for in a partner. A person who is lighthearted can be well worth getting serious with.

  1. Physical Affectionate

It is a way people stay connected and close to those they love. Keeping your relationship vital and intimate is part of making love last. It’s important to choose a partner who accepts love and affection, who is also giving of love, affection, and acknowledgment. Your sexuality is a part of you that shouldn’t fade with time. Keeping your feelings alive means expressing them verbally and physically.

Always remember, choosing a life partner is the most important decision you will ever make – far more crucial than choosing a job, house, or group of friends. All the decisions you make will be together, you’ll have to sleep next to them every night and you’ll still have to love them when you’re both old and wrinkly.

Felicity Gitonga
Felicity Gitonga is the founder of Africa Business News. abn, freelance writer, journalist, and author with a passion for telling stories.

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