Situationship? 5 Ways To Deal With It.
1. Recognize what’s going on
Take a break from the passion, step back from your own emotional involvement and analyze what’s going on. Take a look at both your behavior and the other person’s. Do you recognize any of the tell-tale signs?
- Lack of long-term plans;
- A lot of last-minute dates and booty calls;
- No sign they intend to introduce you to their friends and family;
- No real emotional connection or intimacy beyond the physical (sex).
If these are all present, and they begin to form a pattern of behavior, then you’re definitely in a situationship.
2. Assess your feelings and expectations
How do you feel about this situationship? Does it satisfy your need for physical satisfaction and emotional connection, or do you want more?
You might be happy with the way things are, and if that’s the case, recognizing you’re in a situationship might bring you nothing more than reassurance that things are going your way.
Or you might notice your needs are not being met, and you want more. You want to know if you two are on a path towards building something meaningful together or not. You want to know that your emotional intimacy can only grow from there and that you can rely on each other to fulfill your emotional needs. If that’s the case, a situationship is definitely not the right arrangement for you.
3. Have an honest conversation
Communication is everything. It can be tough to come up to someone and open up your heart. It requires strength and vulnerability, but it’s much less painful than cultivating anxiety over what the other person might be thinking, or how they might react once you finally reveal your heart.
Let them know you’ve developed feelings for them and would like to pursue a serious relationship with them. Let them know what you expect from that relationship, if you expect exclusivity or not, and that you expect to become more intimate and closer sharing your lives with each other.
4. Be ready for the outcome, whatever it may be
Gathering the courage to be honest is only the beginning. You must also gather the courage to accept the outcome, whatever it may be.
It’s possible the person you have feelings for reciprocates those feelings and accepts it’s time to make your relationship official, but it’s also equally possible they want to keep things casual, commitment-free, and are not interested in becoming any more intimate than you already are. Be ready to accept that.
5. Set yourself free to pursue the relationship you really want.
The worst part of being stuck in a situationship is the time you waste on something undefined and unfulfilling. While it’s fine to spend a few weeks to a couple of months “getting to know” someone with little expectations and no strings attached, letting that sort of thing go on indefinitely when what you want is a full relationship is simply a waste of time.
Being honest about your expectations can only set you free, whether by evolving your status with the person you have feelings for, or going your separate ways. Whatever happens, you can only gain. Even if you’re no longer with that person, you can only gain as you set yourself free to meet someone who’ll be a better match for you, someone who wants the same things out of a relationship as you do.
In the end, honesty is the best way to get the relationship you want and deserve, even if you have to move on to be with somebody else.