Guys see commitment as the end of their sexual conquests even if they have a healthy sex life within a relationship. The thought of giving that up can take time and make a guy fearful of commitment. That sounds shallow and kind of stupid, but it does not make it any less true.
Today’s woman has more options than she thought in the past. Sticking around hoping a commitment-phobe will change does not have to be an option.
Learn the top reasons men have a fear of commitment
- Doesn’t want to make the same mistake again
Did his last relationship end badly? The left-over emotional scars may be too fresh to want to jump back into a real commitment with you. If the current status quo is calm and peaceful, why risk changing the relationship into something that could be painful and ugly and remind him of what he went through before?
But do not think your relationship is doomed as time is usually on your side. The longer the relationship remains strong and happy, the less your guy will fear repeating the mistakes of his previous relationship.
- Fear of rejection
This is a man who is afraid a woman will suddenly lose interest and abandon him. Because of this, he has a hard time having an honest straight talk and is very afraid of conflict. When the inevitable disagreements and differences come up in a relationship, he stuffs his feelings and drifts away.
- “I can’t have sex with another person ever again.”
For some men, this is a real concern. No matter how many sexual partners they have had before you, they fathom themselves this sexual animal that could have any woman they wanted. Sexual variety is important in any relationship. Show your guy that variety does not have to mean multiple partners.
- Fear of being controlled and smothered
Men may value their independence and freedom even more greatly than women. And because of the strong mothering pressure that most men experience growing up, fear of being controlled is also a common pattern. As a result, many men grow up with a view of women as weights that hold them down or as controlling objects that won’t let them go.
- Fear of being found out
As a man gets closer to a woman, he may fear that he will become exposed, because he has to reveal fears or feelings that are “unmanly” or a shameful family secret. This is especially true if he had difficult, demanding parents that shamed him when he cried or acted like a “wuss.” A similar fear of commitment can also develop when a man is ashamed about his history or family.
- Fear of trusting a woman
If a man had an erratic or manipulative mother and a history of being cheated on, used, or disappointed by women, he may have major trust issues when it comes to making a commitment. Mistrusting all women, he vows never to be vulnerable again because if he is, he will just be hurt.