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Should Couples Schedule For sex?
Some people might think that scheduling sex is, well, un-sexy. But if you’re in a long-term relationship in which you and your partner want to have more sex and particularly if small children or busy schedules are keeping you and your partner from getting it on scheduling sex can be a life-changer. You just have to do it right.
Figure out a day and time that works for both of you.
I recommend that couples sit down together and carve out a time that works, whether it’s a standing sex date or something you need to decide on a new one each week.
It feels like a more intentional step towards intimacy than scheduling via text and the like. Technology is great, but there’s really nothing like it in real-life face time.
Put it in your calendar.
When you write your scheduled sex down, you’re granting it the same weight you’d give any other important appointment. So be sure it’s on both of your calendars. You can also decide to give it a designated color. I suggest hot pink or red.
Should Couples Schedule For sex?
Be flexible about what kinds of intimacy are involved.
Having a sex schedule does not mean you need to have intercourse every time (or ever). This isn’t really about sex. It’s about intimacy. Many but not all couples often do experience this through sex, while others don’t. The point is scheduling time to engage in whatever activities make you feel more closely connected.
Do your best to stick with the schedule.
One of the biggest issues couples have with this process is not following through. It’s really up to the two of you to decide how committed you are to this schedule based on everything else going on in your lives.
Lean into the anticipation.
While this tactic won’t work in every relationship, scheduled sex creates anticipatory excitement for some people. It sets the sex date into your routine along with the opportunity to explore new sexual terrain.
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